After Tomorrow Night, Only Nine To Be "Still Standing"

The Bitch is Back.  After a week off due to illness, a new blog post for your enjoyment.

During a season in which we have seen the absurd (Hulk Hogan? Casey Abrams almost kicked off and almost have a heart attack rather than some of the talentless females? Shameless plug for J Lo's new video? Steven Tyler trying to hide his creepiness? Steven Tyler trying to actually be a judge that has something valuable to add? ), we have also been graced with some very strong occurrences (last week's Motown theme week and a much improved Jennifer Lopez, and a very hot Lopez).  Tonight fell somewhere in the middle as the contestants took on the songs of Elton John.   Apparently this is Elton John week as Idol featured his music tonight and he will be on SNL this weekend.

Scotty McCreery kicked off the night with little known tune "Country Comfort", a song that once again was a fine choice for Idol's good ole country boy.  McCreery hit all of the notes, but I simply found tonight's performance boring and lacking a little something.  As I thought about this week's theme this morning, I thought that more popular John songs like "Levon" or "Tiny Dancer" would be a perfect fit for this country bumpkin.

The contestant that I hope gets kicked off next, Naima Adedapo, brought Jamaica to the Idol stage with a reggae version of "I'm Still Standing".  Unfortunately for Adedapo, she can't sing R&B, Jazz, Reggae, nor any other type of music in tune.  As I listened suffered through this painful rendition, I felt as if I just got off the cruise ship in Jamaica and was forced to have to wade through the awful welcome band to get to the shops that were going ultimately going to take advantage of another stupid American.  Adedapo seems to want to differentiate herself from the crowd.  Good news?  Success...she has proven herself to be the most terrible of the bunch.

Idol's most unique and quietest contestant, Paul McDonald, failed to connect with one of Elton John's best songs,"Rocket Man". At times sounding like he was ahead of the music (and at times behind), McDonald struggled tonight.  Like the judges stated, it feels like McDonald is holding back.  Expect McDonald to be gone in the next 3-4 weeks as America is going to grow tired of his oddities.

Resident Idol hottie Pia Toscano took on Michael Jackson's favorite song, "Don't Let Your Son Go Down on Me"...wait, I think it might be "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me".  Performing with an almost country twang at times, Toscano proved once again that she can sing a ballad.  The question is whether Toscano is really marketable?  Take her out of her stripper heels and her short dresses (and trust me, I have in my head...many times) and I have a tough time imagining her on the radio.  Outside of a select few leading ladies, many of the females on the radio today don't sing the traditional songs that Toscano seems to take on week after week.  As of today, the only way I see Toscano on the radio is as part of a rap-type song like Skylar Grey on Dre/Eminem's "I Need a Doctor" or Rihanna on Eminem's "Love the Way You Lie".

Idol's cheesiest contestant (and very poor man's Enrique Iglesias), Stefano Langone, butchered my favorite John tune, "Tiny Dancer", making me long for the cast in the awesome movie "Almost Famous" singing it on the tour bus.  The good news for Langone is that Iglesias bowed out of Britney Spears' tour before it even began so perhaps this train wreck can join another train wreck.

Lauren Alaina performed solidly as she always does with Norma Jean (better known as Marilyn Monroe) tribute song "Candle in the Wind". A very sensitive performance, I would have liked to see the song one octave lower as it seemed a little too high for Alaina.  Props to the fashion coordinators for hiding Alaina's Kelly Clarkson-esque curves. 

Crazy man James Durbin "rocked" out to "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)".  While normally liking Durbin's schizophrenic-like performances, tonight's Wednesday night performance was just alright (and could have gone without the Lambert mid-song squealing).  I would have much preferred to see Durbin taking on "I'm Still Standing" or even better "Pinball Wizard".  With all that said, it was nice to see someone bring some fun to the show and he always perks up the crowd.

Thia Megia slowed things down again with "Daniel".  Looking pained during a few notes, Megia sung the song beautifully, but she simply bored me.  Once again, I have trouble finding a way that Megia will make it on the airwaves.  I kept waiting to hear the song open up, moving away from the boring ballad and was disappointed to not see that happen.

Sasquatch Casey Abrams cleaned himself up and performed a very tender version of "Your Song".  While the performance was strong, I would have liked to see Abrams put some of his own touches on the song which you could almost see occur once or twice, but never come to a full boil.  I do hope that America is smarter this week and leaves Abrams off the elimination list.  I do fear that Abrams appears to have lost a lot of weight since the beginning of the show, most likely due to his health issues (colitis)...plus I don't know what would happen if he really got kicked off after watching him nearly fall to pieces last week.

Gospel warbler Jacob Lusk wins the award for the contestant who connected most with their song choice.  While "Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word" is far from my favorite song, Lusk hits the notes spot on tonight just as he does week after week.  Still, I am ready for Lusk to make his exit, record his gospel album, and take his spot amongst the top of the gospel charts....most ready for his exit.

Finishing the night and doing her best Michelle Pfeiffer impersonation, Haley Reinhart did the best job tonight...best job destroying Elton John.  The judges loved the performance, however I simply couldn't put my finger on the arrangement (sultry? jazzy? bluesy?).  I don't like Reinhart, her voice, or her personality, and I simply want to see her go.

Bottom three may very likely see Naima Adedapo, Stefano Langone, and Paul McDonald...or ideally Reinhart in McDonald's place.

Just Like Idol Contestants, Growing Sick of Idol

On perhaps the week I hate most every year on Idol, contestants sang songs from the year they were born which resulted in songs from the 80's and 90's.  It's not that there is anything wrong with these decades as there is a slew of music I love, it is simply that I find myself learning that these kids were born anywhere from the year I was Bar Mitzvah'd to the year I graduated from high school.  I rue the day when they were born the year I graduated from college (sadly that is just a few seasons away).

As for the contestants tonight, off key and flat throughout, Naima Adedapo opened the night and made me think less of the Tina Turner classic "What's Love Got To Do With It?" and more of "What Does Being in Tune Got To Do With It?"  The answer? Everything.  For a song that should have been perfect for Adedapo, it was plain awful.  Steven Tyler showed that once again he is a useless judge who will simply complement the female contestants with the hope that he'll get into their pants later.(1984)

 Paul McDonald had a blast on the stage regardless of pitch problems due to a cold when he took on Elton John's "I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues".  McDonald made me feel like I was watching a six-year old kid who has ADD (not to mention a kid who found his mom's scissors and cut his own hair).  I'm not sure who I felt worse for...McDonald and his cold or the cameramen who had to try and follow this cocaine-fueled performance. (1984)

Thia Megia slowed things down with "Colors of the Wind" by everyone's favorite scorned (and best nude) pageant queen Vanessa Williams.  If it wasn't for Megia's skin-tight and sheer dress (yes, send me to jail now), this performance would be even less mediocre than it was.  (1995)

James Durbin performed my favorite Bar Mitzvah slow dance "I'll Be There For You" by one of my generation's greatest bands Bon Jovi.  For the first time in this competition, Durbin missed the mark for me.  Instead of slow dancing three feet away from the girl that I would later go home and do dirty things to myself thinking about, Durbin pulled up flat throughout the song and it was disappointing that he essentially only sang the chorus, skipping the beginning of the song that leads up to the powerful chorus.  With all of that said, Durbin is a natural performer and brings something to the stage that most of the contestants just don't possess...personality, comfort with being on stage, and the voice to back up a hint of cockiness. (1989)

Haley Reinhart fell into the trap that I continue to voice week after week of taking on a voice that is simply too big for them.  Reinhart couldn't be further out of  the league like a talent like Whitney Houston in her hey day.  Now, to her credit, Reinhart did sound like the Houston of today...off key, uncomfortable on stage, and perhaps strung out.  Oh yeah, and it never helps when a judge starts out with "you look great tonight".  As for the red lipstick smeared on her face?  There is only one place I care to see that lipstick smeared...  Cue the exit music.(1990)

Stefano Langone performed solidly with "If You Don't Know Me By Now", however I simply just don't care to know this kid...and it doesn't help that I now read that he was issued a DUI in 2010 (not long after he was almost killed by a drunk driver).  Way to learn a lesson boy.  God help Idol if this kid somehow wins...he is as boring as Lee DeWyze and will sell as few albums as DeWyze too. (1989)

After slaying a Celine Dion cover, Pia Toscano took on Whitney Houston's "Where Do Broken Hearts Go".  Showing Haley Reinhart the difference between what a powerful singer can do with a song by Houston, Toscano was strong enough to continue in this competition.  It wasn't the most amazing performance ever, but she definitely has pipes.  I would love to see Toscano bring some diva to her performance if she is going to take on the heavyweights of the music world.  Perhaps the most disappointing part of her performance was the video of her parents before her song and learning what Toscano may look like when she gets older...some guy better enjoy the good years while he can get them. (1988)

Country crooner Scotty McCreery continued his string of great performances with Travis Tritt's "Can I Trust You With My Heart?".  Every time this kid opens his mouth, I try to understand where that low voice comes from.  It was great to hear him belt out a little bit at the end to see a bit more of his range.  McCreery continues to be of my favorites despite my less-than-love for 'real' country music; I worry that America will grow tired of country if he doesn't take a chance here or there.  As stated in the past, no matter what happens with his run on Idol, expect a top-selling country record for McCreery. (1993)

Perhaps my least favorite female contestant, Karen Rodriguez, performed Taylor Dane's "Love Will Lead You Back" where she kindly put me to sleep, allowing me to get a nice two-minute rest.  Waking up to hear her sing Spanish, Rodriguez should stick with singing Spanish because she seems to most comfortable when singing in her native tongue. Most embarrassing part of her performance? The Idol producers including English subtitles for her mother when she was speaking ENGLISH!  I recognize that America isn't the brightest of countries, but give the viewers some credit. (1989)

Casey Abrams survived another round of hospital visits to be the first contestant to whip out an instrument when he plucked the strings on Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit".  Freaking me out with a look on his face like that of Hannibal Lecter and the voice, at times, of Adam Sandler screaming, Abrams seemed to impress the judges but simply didn't do much for me. (1991)

Lauren Alaina battled through the flu on a country/bluesy take of Melissa Ethridge's "I'm the Only One".  While not her best performance due to her illness, it amazed me how she is still far better than the majority of the contestants who sung healthy.  I think I was most disturbed by the fact that I think her parents are younger than me and they have a 16-year old!  Not sure if that makes her mom a slut, Lauren an accident, or simply young love..lets hope for the latter.  (1994)

Jacob Lusk closed the night with Heart's "Alone" and it appears that this week was the week where I finally grew tired of him.  Lusk can definitely sing, but he simply isn't going to win the competition and I would rather just see him go now rather than listen to him sing songs that just aren't right for him.  After listening to Lusk speak, I am convinced that if he doesn't make it in gospel, he can perhaps play a muppet.   (1987)

Overall, a hum-drum night of performances and I find myself getting bored of Idol already.  Like seasons past, it looks like it is going to be a long one...

What a Sham...

In a sign that Idol has no faith in its judges nor its production staff, Idol took precautions by pre-taping tonight's Idol show, rumored to be taped because of sound quality issues and wanting to have more time for the judges to gel with one another.  What a sham!  As cheesy as a show as Idol is, having performers sing live adds a bit of legitimacy to the talent show.  Providing a taped edition?  Well that merely puts it in the same sentence as shows like "Jersey (Douche Bags) Shore" and "Real Housewives (Made of Plastic)"

Lauren Alaina started the night off with Shania Twain's ""Any Man of Mine" which surprised with a few pitchy spots and a lack of oomph, but once again showed that Alain is in her comfort zone when singing country pop by stars like Shania Twain and Taylor Swift.  Showing her age, Alaina also showed that she may be a bit too young to make it through this competition as you could tell that she has a hard time receiving less-than-positive feedback.

Casey Abrams performed the classic "With a Little Help From My Friends" and while the performance was enjoyable, he chose not to growl out some of the high notes that make the song a classic.  For me, the best part was Casey saying that Joe Cocker doesn't look that hot when singing...perfect words for a guy that looks Sasquatch's lost son.

Ashthon Jones started off pitchy and didn't quite find her way on a shaky "When You Tell Me You Love Me".  While originally a fan of Jones, it may be that she simply has the look and attitude of a diva; unfortunately for this singing competition, she needs the voice to go with it, as well.

One of my personal favorites, Paul McDonald, took on Ryan Adams "Come Pick Me Up".  Looking like a lost member of the Sgt. Heart's Lonely Club Band, I am starting to wonder if I can take numerous weeks of McDonald's eccentricities.  McDonald has a very interesting voice, but it is not extremely strong and he is going to have to be careful not to get swallowed by the band backing him up.  As for J Lo, way to show her ignorance of not knowing a singer songwriter like Adams.

Pia Toscano had me wishing for a Janet Jackson Super Bowl moment like never before when she performed in a tight sequined dress.  The good news for Toscano is that if Idol doesn't work for her, I am sure that Playboy would be extremely interested in her.  And heck, if Playboy weren't interested, I may be willing to pay for a peek.  As for her song selection (since this is a song contest, of course), Toscano took the bold step of performing Celine Dion's "All By Myself" and I am going to have to eat my words from last week in which I stated that competitors should not take on a singer like Dion because Toscano BROUGHT IT!  Wow...a great version of Dion's popular song.

Screamer James Durbin surprised me as idolizing Paul McCartney as I thought it was Adam Lambert with his almost dead-on impersonation of Lambert.  Durbin was pleasantly good in a toned down performance of  "Maybe I'm Amazed".  Durbin has an outstanding voice and should finish in the top three if he continues at this pace.  Again, he has to learn to keep that scream in check and use it only when needed.

My least favorite contestant, Haley Reinhart sung "Blue" from home wrecker LeAnn Rines and did a solid job.  While I find her to be very annoying, she knows country is her strong suit and picked a smart song for her fan base.  Like Randy said, it was a bit boring of a performance and I think I might be sent to jail for staring more at her cleavage than listening to her voice (underage?).

Not wanting to be outdone by Haley who song a song by whore LeAnn Rines, Jacob Lusk took on everyone's favorite musician who likes to urinate on underage girls, R Kelly.  Choosing the perfect song for his voice, Lusk belted out a pitchy yet powerful "I Believe I Can Fly".  In week one of the top 13, his over-the-top voice is a little too much for me and I will definitely grow tired of him soon enough...America won't be far behind.  Thankfully, Lusk chose not to urinate on 15-year old contestant Thia...that would have been simply uncomfortable.

Thia Megia showed her age when she was unfamiliar with the great silent star Charlie Chaplin when she chose the tender "Smile" made even more famous by Michael Jackson.  While I didn't hear it last week, Megia does sound much like my favorite artist Michael Jackson.  Once again, Randy said it well again when he stated that the first half of the song was much better than the jazz arrangement in the latter half.  Shame on the producers for choosing that arrangement.

Singing Stevie Wonder's "Lately", Stefano Langone failed for me simply because of the odd disco/dance beat set to this great song.  Langone has a great voice, but I still think he needs to stick with Latin where he will find his best success post Idol.  Langone only has a few more weeks left on the show so he should show his strength in Latin music soon.

Karen Rodriguez smartly chose Selena, sticking with her strong suit, however the arrangement started and continued too low and as a result, Rodriguez never found her footing.  The pitchy performance combined with the awful outfit could very well result in Rodriguez's exit tomorrow night.

Country crooner Scotty McCreery performed Garth Brooks' classic "The River" and continued to amaze me with his voice...truly amazing that he is just a high school teenager.  While the band swallowed his voice a few times, his low voice and country twang is simply amazing and I have no doubt that he will have at least one #1 hit on the country charts no matter what happens on Idol.

Dentist dream Naima Adedapo butchered Rhianna's "Umbrella" and once again I felt like I was watching Chris Brown doing his dirty work to an Idol contestant.  It was a horrible performance that was only saved by a cool Jamaican reggae twist in the middle.

After watching the entire show, I didn't understand half of what the heck Steven Tyler was talking about, but J Lo was much stronger with her feedback tonight.  The real question is whether she can do the same when the show returns live next week...and it better return live.

After week one, expect the girls to be short one contestant when either Karen Rodriguez, Ashthon Jones, or Naima Adedapo heads home.

The Top 13 Becomes a Snoozefest

In a sign of being completely useless for a second night, Steven Tyler started the night by refusing to answer which group (guys or girls) was better during the last round.  Now listen, I understand that Tyler does not want to play the role of Simon, however it isn't like Ryan Seacrest was asking which group he should send to the chambers (yes, I know, I am going to hell for that one).

So how did Idol fill waste two hours?  Well near 1 hour and 30 minutes was wasted with interviews, recaps, and other crap (including J Lo's new video) that no one cares about.  Idol seems to be the reason that the DVR was existed...so you can fast forward through all the needless bullsh-t.

Idol eventually got to revealing the Top 10 of which I agreed with 8 of the 10.  The Top 10 included: Scott McCreery, Pia Toscano, Lauren Alaina, Karen Rodriguez, Jacob Lusk, Casey Abrams, Thia Megia, Paul McDonald, Haley Reinhart, and James Durbin.

As for those booted, most were booted fairly in my mind including: Mao Tse T aung Clint Jun Gamboa, Jordan Dorsey, Jovany Barreto, Ta-tynisa Wilson, Julie Zorrilla, Kendra Chantelle, Tim Halperin, Naima Adedapo, Lauren Turner, Brett Loewenstern , Rachel Zevita, and Stefano Langone

Booted Unfairly were Robbie Rosen and Ashton Jones.

During Double Jeopardy, Ashton proved, as I expected, that she deserved a spot in the Top 10.  While I stick with my selection of Stefano Langone being booted fairly, the kid performed well and has a very pure voice. Kendra lacks "it" and simply doesn't do it for me (and let's be honest, it is all about me).  Jovany Barreto played it smart safe by choosing a Latin artist when he performed Jon Secada's "Angel".  Like Karen Rodriguez a night early, Barreto played to J Lo by leveraging his roots and sang the song in English and Spanish.  Naima can sing, but she is boring and really has no shot at the crown so better to just ax her now.  Robbie chose a slow song that was performed well, but didn't show anything special.

The judges ultimately went with Ashton, Stefano, and Naima which I can understand and respect.  Unfortunately, of those, only one has a decent shot to go far in the competition.

Final Observations:

• What the f-ck was Steven Tyler wearing tonight?   I love to wear pink, but I am not too much into wearing women's blouses.  
• Brett Loewenstern couldn't be more annoying...really, you had to hug the judges before you left?  Sorry Ginger, your 5 minutes are up (he doesn't deserve 15 minutes).
• Can we stop with the dramatics?  These kids are not singing for their lives...life will go on.  Like I said, no one is sending these kids are going to the chambers (just driving home that I am going to hell).
• It is bad enough that we are generally forced to watch crappy in-show commercials for Coca-Cola and Ford, but now we're handcuffed to watch one of the judges promote her own music?  Can you imagine a ref interrupting play to shoot a 3-pointer?  That said, I definitely enjoyed the Kaoma interlude during the song and I am thinking that I may want to eat off of J Lo's sick abs.
• Is it me or does it appear that most of the contestants in the Top 13 don't like each other?  Doesn't seem like there is a lot of love going around.
• Do the Idol judges hate Jews?  All were booted...boo!

As Randy said, America picked a solid Top 10 and the judges selected a respectable three additional contestants.  It should be an interesting season as outside of Haley, Karen, Stefano, and Naima who should go home early, a majority of the top 13 have a legitimate shot at the crown.

Lauren Alaina and Scott McCreery remain my favorites if not simply for the reason that these two have the best shot at true success in the pop/country and country world respectively.  Yes, some might say that I should include Jacob Lusk, however trust me that you will tire of him and his dramatics.  And, while I love Paul McDonald and Casey Abrams, neither will be any more successful than recent Idol winners Lee DeWyze (I bet you didn't even remember he won) and Kris Allen and the ultimate goal of this show is to find someone who is going to sell albums.

The Ladies Take a Turn

So after a lackluster night of the guy's, we were treated to an equally lackluster night of the girl's.  After my initial reaction of the best talent in Idol history, I am wondering if I got bamboozled with the editing of the audition and Hollywood rounds.

The night began with Ta-tynisa Wilson.  First off, seriously? Not only do I not know whether to capitalize the second part of her first name, but I am not sure if it is even worth writing about this talentless contestant.  In the history of Idol, this could be the WORST performance ever.  Now I know what Rihanna felt like when Chris Brown beat the sh-t out of her.  And, equally as bad as this destruction of "Only Girl in the World" was, the fact that Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez thought this was a strong performance, shows how completely useless they are to this competition. 

Speaking of Steven Tyler, did he snort his nose away early in his career?  It looks like someone took Michael Jackson's nose and stuck it on this guy.  Perhaps he should compare nose jobs with some of the wives on those Real Housewives shows.

Naima Adedapo showed she can sing with a jazzy take on classic "Summertime"...but also showed that she needs a dentist just as bad as last year's runner-up Crystal Bowersox. 

Kendra Chantelle took on the music industry's newest drunk, Christina Aguilera, with "Impossible", a song that very few people know, and a song that only a few people can sing due to the complexities of an Aguilera-written song .  I don't want to say it, but it is near impossible for this chick to make it to the next round.  To her benefit, she looked pretty smoking dressed in black...stick Steven Tyler's nose on this girl and she gets even hotter.


Rachel Zevita, this year's most annoying contestant, had quite the interesting take on Fiona Apple's "Criminal".  Definitely too much cabaret and reminding me more of the annoying character Rachel on "Glee", I will not miss Zevita should she not make it through to the next round.  Annoying as she is, she happens to actually have a good voice.

Karen Rodriguez slowed down an already slow night with Mariah Carey's "Hero".  In an attempt to secure the Hispanic audience and endear J Lo, Rodriguez mixed English with Spanish.  While not awful, why don't contestants realize that they should not pick songs by singers like Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, Christina Aguilera, etc.?  Rodriguez will pass through strictly based on the fact that she wrapped up the Hispanic audience, something that the Latin guy last night failed to do.

After watching Lauren Turner, this must be what J Lo meant when she mentioned being beautiful inside and out, because she must be keeping it all inside.  A solid performance, but I am not familiar with the song and it didn't really grab me. 

Ashton Jones, perhaps one of the front runners this season, sang Monica's little known song "Love All Over Me".  What could be one of the worst songs ever on the show, Jones showed she can sing.  A mix of former Idol Tamyra Gray and Beyonce, Jones is one of only a handful contestants who has "it". 

Julie Zorrilla, one of my personal favorites this season (perhaps because I find her so cute), got swallowed by taking on another powerful singer, Kelly Clarkson, with "Breakaway".  Unfortunately like the song, I think she will soon "travel on a jet plane, far away and breakaway".  Seriously contestants, pick a song by a singer who doesn't have one of the strongest voices in the music industry.  Kelly Clarkson is no Mariah Carey or Celine Dion but she has a very powerful voice and Zorrilla definitely doesn't have that.

Haley Reinhart, unfortunately like the contestants before her, just didn't bring anything special to her take of Alicia Keys "Fallin'" tonight. 

Thankfully, the second half of the show picked up with the more-talented ladies.

Thia Megia impressed with "On My Own" from the Fame musical...especially being at only 15 years old.  While she is certainly a strong singer, I have issues with the fact that this girl made it to the quarterfinals of "America's Got Talent" not too long ago.  Should Idol really be picking up the scraps from a silly show like "AGT"?   Idol definitely needs her to continue on because they need the young people to tune in and because they have to show that lowering the age to 15 was a good decision.

Lauren Alaina, a contestant who does have the chops to take on singers like Kelly Clarkson, (country) rocked out to Reba Mcentire's "Turn on the Radio" and showed that she may be the female front runner in this competition.  Able to sing country and rock, she will go far.

 The night concluded with this year's most beautiful contestant, Pia Toscano, doing justice (and more) to The Pretenders' "I'll Stand By You" and made me want to stand by her (and more)....now only if I didn't have to worry about my wife finding out!  A standing ovation by all three judges unfortunately puts a bullseye on her back and when I look at the talent of someone like Lauren Alaina, I simply don't know if Toscano has what it takes to last a whole season.

In summary, WTF contestants?  Why is that year after year the contestants can't find the right song?  Supposedly this year Idol hired a big-time producer to help and while I don't know if he is onboard this early in the competition, however if he is, it is time to find a new producer.

And, who would have ever thought that Randy would say what I write...happened in the past with Simon and I am a bit scared that Randy and I seem to be in agreement.  Oh well, I guess it could be worse...it could be Steven Tyler or J Lo!

The Idol Blog is Back

Yes, it is true, the Idol blog is back. After being fired from The Detroit News two years ago for being too insulting and then running the blog on my own last year for my few dear readers, I am wasting valuable time once again (at least tonight...Jill, you're welcome).

I will start out by admitting that I thought Idol jumped the shark years ago.  Now, with Simon gone, I thought that Idol would not only have jumped the shark, but leaped over it like Mike Powell (the all-time long jumper).  Dare I say I was surprised when I haven't actually hated the new Idol?  That Idol might have life left with Simon gone?  That Idol might not get swallowed whole when Simon's anxiously awaited X Factor starts in the fall?  Well, after the audition and Hollywood rounds, I am amazed to say that it is possible that Idol has its best talent yet. 

Yes, we had to deal with some hiccups along the way like Steven Tyler literally salivating over contestants as young as 15 and having to watch Jennifer Lopez shed tears like she was a strung out Paula Abdul, I have to admit that they have actually had some good feedback for the contestants.  Simon is definitely missed with the absence of his pithy comments and the show lacks much of its humor as a result, but Idol seems serious about wanting to find a real singer by adding top talent judges.

Which leads us to tonight, the first of two nights of taped auditions (translation: we do not get to see how good these folks really are). 

Clint Jun Gamboa, a four foot tall mutt who reminds me of Where's Waldo made me feel as if I boarded a cruise line and the only way to escape his performance was to jump overboard.  Perhaps it was this kid's doucheness when he kicked the young fat kid out in the Hollywood rounds, but I simply hate this little f-ck. The judges may have liked him, but I hope this little douche gets his a-- sent back home.

Jovany Barreto, a guy who hopes to boot Marc Anthony to the curve to get a piece of J Lo's big a-- failed to capitalize on his strength which was imitating Latin stars like Marc Anthony and Luis Miguel by singing out the cheesy "I'll Be".  The guy has an amazing voice and should stick with what he does best which is Latin-like music. 

Jordan Dorsey proved he never deserved to make the top 12 with a horrendous version of Usher's "Oh My Gosh".  To copy someone as talented as Usher, both the voice and the moves, you've got to bring it...Jordan definitely failed at that.  Exit stage left Mr. Dorsey.

Tim Halperin, a guy who did not get much screen time in the early rounds showed why...he sucks.  Taking on Rob Thomas' "Come on Over", I felt like I was watching that kid from last year who escaped elimination each week last year...can't remember that kid's name and I won't remember this kid's name either.

Carrot Top Kathy Griffin look alike Brett Loewenstern may actually have succeeded...in bringing Jim Morrison out of hiding with the most awful and painful rendition of The Door's "Light My Fire".  If Morrison is actually dead, he just turned over in grave and prayed for his ears to be eaten by maggots.  The judges disagreed, but they did have one thing right...that he was on fire (not that there is anything wrong with that). 

Over-exposed James Durbin and Adam Lambert wannabe went bold and took on Judas Priest's "You Got Another Thing Coming".  While the guitar playing overtook his voice at times, Durbin can definitely sing.  I do fear that he is going to fall into the Lambert problem of screaming every song.  If Durbin can reign it in, he will go very far in this talent show.

Robbie Rosen and his schnoz put me to sleep with a very boring "Angel" originally done so wonderfully by Sarah McLachlan.  Rosen has one of the best voices on the show this year and he may have blown his chances with this very poor rendition.  In honor of his Jewishness, perhaps Sunrise, Sunset for Mr. Rosen?

One of my favorite contestants shockingly enough is Scott McCreery who regardless of his success on Idol will find big success in the world of country.  Taking on John Michael Montgomery's "Letters From Home", McCreery knows who he is, what he is good at, and as a result, always chooses the right song.  Tonight's performance will easily find him in the Top 12 and if the country voters turn out, this kid has a chance at the title.  Again, either way, this kid will be big in country...perhaps even selling more albums than whoever ends up winning Idol.  I can already see a duet with former Idol winner Carrie Underwood in the future.

Stefano Langone can sing but Idol contestants should know better than to take on a current top 40 song like "Just the Way You Are".  With that said, Langone was better than most of the guys and choosing a current song may actually find him getting more votes than those who chose less noticeable songs. As for Randy's comment about this kid being on the radio, it is still way too early in the competition for comments like that.  And can Ryan Seacrest just be truthful and name himself as the person wondering who Stefano was singing the song to?  There is no reason to mask it as "a lot of people here in the studio and at home" wanting to know.  Alas, Stefano set poor Ryan straight by letting him know that it was for all the ladies out there.

Paul McDonald, one of my favorite contestants, was outstanding taking on Rod Stewart's "Maggie May".  McDonald and Casey Abrams are great additions to the show this year; unfortunately I don't know if America will agree.  McDonald is atypical from what you hear on the radio today and let's be honest...the people voting for their favorite Idol are also people who watch The Kardashians, Jersey Shore, and Real Housewives...it's not like these people actually have taste.

Gospel singer Jacob Lusk channeled his best Dionne Warwick by successfully taking on "A House is Not a Home".  Lusk has one of the best voices but with the lack of success by former winner Ruben Studdard, it is doubtful that Lusk will win.  Mark my words that he will be a resounding success on the gospel charts.

Casey Abrams finished the night strong with a powerful "I Put a Spell on You". For a guy who was in the hospital all week, Abrams hopefully earned a spot in the top 12.  Unfortunately, like McDonald, he is a bit too odd to find his way to the Idol crown.  In a way, Abrams reminds me of  past winner Taylor Hicks and unfortunately, once again, with the lack of success of Hicks, it is doubtful Abrams can win the big enchilada.

In summary, who ever thought that Randy would actually bring the best feedback amongst the judges? Honest and almost spot on.  Steven Tyler and Jennifer Lopez bring legitimacy to the judge's panel, but they have to learn not to just stick withe the niceties and to also provide valuable feedback...telling people that they have seen better by the contestant isn't helpful, tell them what they need to do better.  Isn't that the reason for successful singers as judges?

Overall, not an awful night of music, but definitely not the top talent I thought going into these rounds.  Perhaps the ladies will make me change my mind.