Duh, LOSING.

Still reeling from a night in which I witnessed the worst disaster in world history... 

Last night was so bad that Amtrak issued a press release that it no longer owns the dubious distinction of being responsible for the biggest train wreck...that distinction solely rests with Charlie Sheen from now own.  Heck, if Rodney King had been there, even he would have admitted that his beat down at the hands of the LA Police wasn't as painful as having to endure 75 minutes of the destruction of Charlie Sheen.

On a night when Charlie Sheen would either see his stock soar or plummet, Sheen quickly proved to the world that he is as worthless as the house that you own right now.  Never before has mankind witnessed someone go from hero to many to zero in such a quick timeframe.

The night began so promising at Hockey Town, getting our drink on (as adult beverages could only enhance what was expected to be a memorable night).  Memorable it was, but unfortunately for such the wrong reasons.

Kirk Fox, a comedian who quickly proved to the be the WORST comedian ever to grace the stage of The Fox (or any stage for that matter), opened for Sheen.  While it is true that no one was really going to get a fair shot as the crowd was anxiously waiting for the Warlock, Fox lost the crowd in less than two minutes flat.  With jokes that were less funny than watching an inebriated David Hasselhoff eat a hamburger off the floor, I found myself realizing that my four-year old daughter could string together a better joke than this guy.  Sh-t, my daughter's knock knock jokes that make NO sense whatever actually would have elicited more laughs than this guy.

After watching Fox bomb worse than Pearl Harbor, The Warlock finally took the stage with his Goddesses in tow.  With the Goddesses twisting tongues like every guy has fantasized and Sheen soon thereafter putting on a Tigers jersey (clearly pandering but still great to see), the night seemed like it might not be so bad after all.  Boy is that an understatement.  What followed was 60-70 minutes of a guy who clearly has hit rock bottom.

Having said to my friends prior to the show that Sheen missed the opportunity to start his tour while he was still red hot (lets be honest, America has already grown tired of Sheen's rants and raves), one friend mentioned that he needed time to put together the tour.  Seriously?  Saturday's night "performance" needed preparation?  From Sheen's Presidential address to his pure disregard for the fine people of Detroit when he didn't even finish the show, the night was pure crap.  F-ck, I thought the Ted Danson and Howie Mandel movie "A Fine Mess" was a hot mess, but nothing held a candle to the fine mess left by Sheen last night. 

Between the sh-tty rap performance by Sheen friend Dirty Nasty (aka Simon Rex...aka the guy who appeared in masturbation videos Young, Hard & Solo II; Young, Hard & Solo III; and Hot Sessions III so says my buddy Sips, aka the tool who was a VJ on MTV), Sheen directed/produced "movie" starring a young Johnny Depp and Clint Howard, shots at Detroit and the ready availability of crack, and the granddaddy of them all, "Sorry dude, already got your money", the night was simply a disappointment.

Sheen's career very well could have ended on Saturday night.  Sheen once hailed for being the guy who went against the establishment will now simply be pitied for being so pathetic and for wasting 75 minutes of the lives of 5,000+ (and unfortunately others who waste their money to see him on tour). 

For me, I lost a guy who I used to admire as an actor.  Wall Street. Platoon. Sh-t, even Major League.   For me, Sheen joined the circle of actors for which it will be difficult to watch on film or television again (yes Mel Gibson and Tom Cruise, I am speaking of you). For me, I lost the only man I followed on Twitter.

As I told my friends after the show, a show in which I was provided free tickets: it was the worst performance that i never paid for.  Charlie Sheen has officially gone from doing blow to just blowing.