It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The most exciting time of the year is upon us...that's right, the time for the networks to release next year's television schedule recently occurred.

With popular serials such as "24" and "Lost" now complete, the age of the exciting serial has come to and end with Fox and ABC choosing not to follow a similar path next season.

So what did this year's upfronts bring us?  Amongst the biggest surprises of the upfronts:

• CBS's decision to cancel shows like "Cold Case", "Ghost Whisperer", and "The New Adventures of Old Christine" regardless of their high ratings (although ABC is potentially, and intelligently, picking up Christine).  
• NBC's cancellation of "Law and Order" just before it took the honor of being the longest running drama in history (it will have to remain being tied with old-time "Gunsmoke".
• ABC's renewal of "V" (for half a season).
• CW renewal of "One Tree Hill" and "Life Unexpected" (for half seasons).

Least surprising? The death of poor remake "Melrose Place".  RIP Amanda.

Let's take a look at what each network has in store for next year.

CBS

CBS shocked many when they made the decision to cancel many shows that still bring in the ratings including "Cold Case", "Ghost Whisperer", and "The New Adventures of Old Christine" to bring in fresh comedies and dramas (most likely due to declining ratings and higher production costs).

Another shock came when conservative CBS picked up comedy "$#*! My Dad Says" starring the cockiest man in the business, William Shatner.  As the first sitcom born out of social media (coming from a very popular Twitter feed), CBS is showing a lot of faith in the show by putting it on money-making Thursday nights with "The Big Bang Theory"...which led to yet another shock: CBS attempting to make the Thursday 8:00 hour a comedy hour. Sort of an odd set up as the shows are followed by "CSI" and then "The Mentalist".  The move to mix comedy and drama will either be one of the smartest decisions of the year or the worst, all depending on where the ratings end up.  Personally, I do not see this being the best lead in for "CSI" as the audiences seem to be drastically different, however "The Big Bang Theory" is laugh out loud funny and "$#*! My Dad Says" looks encouraging.

The only other new comedy is "Mike and Molly" about a man and woman who meet at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting...the previews make it seem like this show could be funny.  But then again, will you feel bad about laughing at fat people afterwards and how long can laughing at funny people be funny?

In the drama department, CBS picked up:

• "Blue Bloods" starring the talented Tom Selleck which Zap2it.com describes as a "multi-generational family drama set in the world of New York City law enforcement".  The show will most likely perform well with CBS having success with similar shows like "Criminal Minds".  But seriously, what is up with all of the cop dramas?!
• 'The Defenders" starring the less talented Jerry O'Connell and Jim Belushi as "two larger-than-life lawyers defend their clients against the backdrop of Las Vegas" (thank you Zap2it.com for the description).  Wow, a law show with a cocky lawyer, how original.  Don't get too invested, this show won't be around for long.
• "Hawaii Five-0", a remake of the original.  Did "Melrose Place" not teach everyone a lesson of remakes?!  Judging by the credits, this show may be extremely cheesy...the preview doesn't make it seem that much better.  CBS is definitely hoping that main star Alex O'Loughlin can succeed in this show as his last CBS drama failed miserably.
• "Criminal Minds Untitled Spinoff" - It wouldn't be a new season if it didn't include a spinoff of one of its series.

In the news of returning shows, CBS caved to domestic abuser/drug abuser/alcohol abuser/whore patron Charlies Sheen's demands when they upped his pay from $800,000 an episode to somewhere between $1.8-2.0 million an episode.  Yes, you read that right...if you beat your wife, abuse drugs and alcohol, and frequent prostitutes, you too can make $24 million a year!

As for the inclusion of advertisements before previews of each new show...BOO!

NBC

After another poor year for NBC (including the ridiculous firing of talented Conan O'Brien for lame host Jay Leno), NBC is hoping to reverse a ratings slide that has continued for years.

NBC announced the addition of seven new dramas (two for midseason) and four new comedies which is sadly more a sign of a piss-poor performance this past season than that of a network who is overenthusiastic about the many new offerings.

NBC has smartly gotten into bed with genius producer J.J. Abrams for one of the most promising new shows "Undercovers", a sexy new spy show starring two relative unknowns as retired CIA agents who also happen to be husband and wife.  How can a show that invents the word 'sexpionage' be bad?!

Other dramas include:

• "The Event" stars Jason Ritter (son of the much-missed John Ritter) as a guy who stumbles upon a government conspiracy. The preview shows a lot of flash, but the question remains whether it has the substance behind it to keep us entertained for the whole season. Add a storyline that will most likely fall apart when compared to "24" including Blair Underwood as the President (he is no President Palmer), this show may very well turn into a non-event.  I'll give it an episode or two, but should it not hook me by then, I am RSVP'ing no. 
• "Chase" is an action-based series about a team of U.S. marshals out to catch fugitives.  Reviewing the preview, it reminds me of a 70's action series (not a bad thing, just an observation) and it seems that the show could grow stale extremely fast.  While Jerry Bruckheimer used to be ratings and movie gold in the past, he has recently shown that he is human and can produce failures.  I have never been a fan of shows that wrap up each episode in a neat bow at the 58 minute mark.  Only time will tell on this one.
• "Outlaw" comes from producer Conan O'Brien (yes that Conan...you know the one that was fired by this very same network).  Perhaps payback for firing him, NBC picked up this series that stars the extremely talented Jimmy Smits as a Supreme Court judge who steps down to practice law again.  While the preview is encouraging, you have to wonder about the success of this show that holds the 10:00 p.m. spot on Friday nights. 
• "The Cape" appears to be a modernization of "The Fugitive" as it tells the story of a "a cop who is framed for murder and then presumed dead. In order to clear his name and get back to his family, he takes on the persona of The Cape, his son's favorite comicbook hero." (Thank you Zap2it.com for the description).  Oddly enough, this midseason replacement has an interesting storyline and if told right, could see success in January.  Heck, it has the unbelievably beautiful Summer Glau co-starring which is reason enough for every geek (including myself) to watch. Of course, if it resembles M. Night Shyamalan's "Unbreakable" more than "The Fugitive",  NBC may want to send this series to the grave for good.
• "Harry's Law" from David E. Kelley (seriously David, how about a series not focused on law...I get it, you know law, but expand your experience!) stars Kathy Bates as a patent lawyer who is fired from her job and sets up shop (literally) in a shoe shop. The preview reminds me a bit of "The Practice" which found itself on the air for a number of successes and while Kathy Bates is a solid actress and the adorable Brittany Snow ("American Dreams") co-stars, I would not invest too much time in this mid-season replacement.
• "Law & Order: Los Angeles" - Perhaps NBC felt bad about canceling "Law & Order" and wanted to appease Dick Wolf by picking up yet another spin-off.  Without a script or cast yet, it seems that it might have been easiest to simply move the original show to L.A. and add some new characters. 

In the world of comedies, joining the Thursday night line-up is "Outsourced", a comedy about a company manager who is outsourced to India to run a call center.   The preview fails to elicit many laughs, but NBC is apparently high on the show since it secured a spot on the hottest night on television.  Then again, while NBC invented Must-See TV via their Thursday night line-up years ago, the network hasn't experienced that kind of success since the 90's.

NBC is also adding "Love Bites", a rom-com that is strangely one hour long; "Bites" tells the story of two single girls amongst a bevy of non-single friends in an anthology-like series.  With a bevy of celebrity guest stars each week, I was amazed when I found that the preview reminded me of a cross between "Love Actually" and "Sex in the City" because it is brought to NBC by the producers and writers, respectively, of those successes.  Ladies will be on board as will the husbands of those who are married...NBC may have a success on their hands with this one.

"Perfect Couples" follows three couples in yet another romantic comedy for NBC.  I couldn't even finish the preview this show was so unfunny.  Expect "Couples" to be yet another failure on the NBC belt.  If you ask me, the show deserves to fail simply for dressing the hot bodied Olivia Munn in way too conservative of clothing.

"Friends with Benefits", a show being saved for midseason, comes from the mighty talented writers of "(500) Days of Summer" and focuses on platonic friends who sometimes find themselves under the sheets.  The preview elicited some good laughs, however it may be too quirky for a network like NBC. 

And in an unusual move (compared to the other networks, NBC is adding "School Pride" on Friday nights a blatant rip-off of "Extreme Makeover: Home Edition" but geared towards rebuilding schools in need.  With that said, I teared up at this feel good show and I expect others will too.

In a quick nod to returning shows, NBC very wisely is bringing back one of its most fun (and underrated) shows "Chuck" for 13 episodes, although again this is not the most surprising news based on the fact that NBC has few quality shows returning. 

ABC

On the heels of successful comedies "Modern Family", "The Middle" and "Cougar Town", ABC is adding three new comedies including another show starring a Friend, this one being Matthew Perry.  Amongst the new comedies, hopefully "Better Together" focuses more on the parents of the leads ("70's Show" Debra Jo Rupp steals the preview scenes) than on the leads themselves.  Something tells me that this comedy won't be seeing the success that ABC is hoping for.

"Happy Endings" stars the beautiful Elisha Cuthbert as one half of a couple who break up at the altar but try to remain friends for the sake of their friends.  A few laughs and a premise that could play out well...but yet another comedy that seems better suited for Fox.

Chandler Bing (aka Matthew Perry) stars in "Mr. Sunshine" as a 40-year old manager of an ice arena who is re-evaluating his life.  Sound very unfunny?  You're right.  That said, with Perry, Allison Janey, and talented yet unsuccessful when it comes to new shows, Andrea Anders, set to star, one would think that this is ABC will give this some time to grow on people.  I think that ABC should count themselves lucky that they have other comedies to fall back on.

Trying to break a very poor streak when it comes to drama, ABC is launching six new dramas.  With "Desperate Housewives" (which in a bid to bring new life to the show has drafted Rick Fox reject Vanessa Williams) and "Grey's Anatomy" showing their age and personal favorite "Lost" gone, ABC will need a few of these shows to break out from the pack if it wants to play with the big boys. 

Most promising is "No Ordinary Family" starring Michael Chiklis and Julie Benz and about a family who discover they have super powers.  Lets hope that this show is more like the first season of "Heroes" than the seasons that followed.

Also promising is this generation's potential "Thirtysomething", "My Generation", a drama about a group of high school students 10 years after graduation.  Filmed in a documentary like style, the real question is: Will America will tune into a series that ABC bills as 'nothing you have ever seen before'?

Other dramas (and less enthusiastically received by me) include:

• "Detroit 1-8-7" - Regardless of the fact that it has Detroit in its title and Michael Imperioli starring, do we really need another cop show? 
• "The Whole Truth" - A show that provides equal balance for law cases allowing the viewer to see the prosecution and defense...another court drama?
• "Body of Proof" starring Dana Delaney as a medical examiner.  Delaney is a great actress, but...yawn.
• "Off the Map" - An additional medical drama, but this time taking place in a small town in South America. "Woo hoo" he says sarcastically.

In the world of reality (the only new reality show besides NBC's "School Pride"), ABC is also adding "Secret Millionaire" a show that highlights wealthy people who slum it by living and volunteering with those less well off.  NBC wins the war of reality shows when compared to this new series.

CW

With broadcasts only five days a week, baby network CW had little in regards to new shows for next season.

"Nikita", a take on the film "La Femme Nikita", finds Maggie Q in the lead role as a spy who is out for revenge against her former employer.  "Nikita" looks to be a sexy thriller with Q as the anti-Sydney Bristow...now if only the show doesn't get mired down in crazy storylines.

The only other new addition is cheerleading show "Hellcats" which reunites Mouseketeers Ashley Tisdale and Aly Michalka taking place at the college ranks.  Don't get too attached to this show as network TV has room for only one cheerleading team and that is "Glee's Cheerios".  "Hellcats" looks better suited for ABC Family. With that said, there are worse ways to pass an hour than staring at Ashley Tisdale in a cheerleading outfit.

In returning show news,  Tom Welling (aka Superman) broke the news early that next year will be the last season of "Smallville"...not completely surprising as the show has already tweaked the legend of Superman in many ways and that the cast seems to be nearing their 40's!

In an attempt to capitalize with 15-year old girls (and me), "Gossip Girl" stays in its 9:00 spot on Monday nights bringing back Chuck Bass a returned man and with new lead-in show "90210" (sans Rob Estes who finished his rein in the season finale). 

In the most exciting news, the CW is granting "Life Unexpected" a half season (to start).  In the vein of popular shows like "Gilmore Girls", "Life Unexpected" is a strongly written show about an orphan girl who reconnects with the parents who gave her up in high school.  Give it a chance...you'll like it.

FOX

Over at Fox, the network is adding three new comedies (of which one is slated for midseason).

The preview for "Raising Hope", a comedy about a guy who is unprepared for sudden parenthood, looks somewhat promising, but most comedies that revolve around a baby tend to grow stale fast...thus why you never see characters with babies on sitcoms.  It will be interesting to see if the writers can keep the concept fresh.

Starring one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, Keri Russell, "Running Wilde" pairs Russell with the very funny Will Arnett in the extremely quirky comedy about a rich guy who has everything in life except the girl that got away (Russell). While the preview wasn't extremely funny, I remain optimistic solely based on the cast.

Midseason replacement "Mixed Signals" looks absolutely hilarious as it tells the story of three guys who try to maintain their friendship while being in different stages of a relationship.  If the show is nearly half as funny as the preview, I hope that another show gets canceled in order to move this show up from January.  While Fox is not known for their breakout comedies, this may be the one that breaks away from the pack next year.

Joining the Sunday animation lineup is new "Bob's Burgers", a comedy about a guy who owns a burger joint and the family that surrounds him.

In the world of dramas, Fox brings on board one of the most promising new series (with one of the best time slots after ratings juggernaut "House") in "Lonestar" starring Farmington Hill's own Jimmy (now James) Wolk, who will easily be one of the brightest new stars next season.   With a story of  a con man (Wolk) who is balancing a wife and a girlfriend while also trying to go legit, this show will have a ton of support from the good folks of Oakland County...although it most likely won't need it based on its strong preview.  In other exciting news from the O.C., Jaime Ray Newman, another Farmington Hills native, is joining Lifetime's "Drop Dead Diva" in June.  Way to represent Jimmy and Jaime!

Other dramas include a Steven Spielberg-produced time-travel adventure "Terra Nova,"and "Ride-Along", yet another cop drama whose preview doesn't explain much about the series.  While I hold out hope for "Terra Nova", "Ride-Along" won't last the season.

And so there you have it.  The most exciting week of the year is now over and we now await premiere week in September.  Counting the days...

Wednesday's Rants and Raves

 
God help us, another Scientologist.

Delonte West is a mother f-cker.

Tokio Hotel guitarist hard up for attention.

Cheers to "The Tudors" Jonathan Rhys Meyers.

Keanu Reeves has a new beard.

Fat girl sues Hooters.

Wal-Mart preventing Miley Cyrus from killing young kids.

Apparently when you compare your boss to Hitler and Napoleon you risk losing your job.  Who would have thunk?

Lindsay Lohan is rolling around in new carpet.

Pesticides in produce lead to ADHD in...what was I saying? Woo hoo...who wants to go out and rave?

Kate Gosselin continues her role as a whore...Entertainment Tonight this time serves as her pimp.

Favorite textfromlastnight: (203): Church boner. Awkwardddd

Favorite textfromlastnight: (815): come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.

Just End It Already

Let me preface tonight's blog with honesty...it is poor, lazy, and just plain blah...much like this season.  As I watched tonight's performances, I just don't care about any of the contestants and I simply cannot see truly becoming a lasting artist.

Tonight we were treated to sh-tty selections by the contestants themselves and ever-so-slightly-better song selections by the judges for each contestant.

Casey James started off the night with the perfect song for his voice and music style when he chose Eric Hutchinson's "Okay It's Alright With Me", but unfortunately he was only alright and failed to endear himself to the judges.  As for the judge's selection, Kara and Randy selected "Daughters" by the mighty talented guitarist John Mayer; yet again, the mighty Casey struck out.  Time to pack up and head home Mr. James.

Crystal Bowersox's choice was "Come To My Window", another song perfect for her voice and style but with just so-so results.  Perhaps the contestants are buying into the media's view that this is really just a crappy season with crappy talent..  "Maybe I'm Amazed" by legendary artist Paul McCartney was a bit better, but still not I expect (e.g. a memorable performance) this late in the competition.

Lee DeWyze seems headed into the finale as the favorite when the judges all but humped his leg during the show.  Lee DeWyze selected Skynard's "Simple Man" and while the judges raved about it, once again I was left shaking my head at how this guy is so well received by the judges.  As I watched the rest of the hour, I decided that when you are left with three expired cans of corn, you simply choose the can that is the least expired to eat.  Odd analogy?  As I stated before, I simply just don't care anymore about this season.  Simon Cowell chose the haunting classic "Hallelujah".  While the best performance of the night, Jason Castro (Who, you ask?  Exactly.) performed it much better.

I have never looked more forward to a finale simply so that the pain can end.

Oh, and Randy?  If you're talking about yourself, you don't have to use the word 'personally' as in, "me, personally I didn't like it".

Monday's Rants and Raves

When I first read about a giant sinkhole, I thought they were talking about Lindsay Lohan's va-jay-jay.

Tiger Woods parts ways with his swing coach...rumor is that Elin is going to hire him to polish up her swing.

Who would win in a fight, you ask? Harry Potter or James Bond?  Apparently Harry wins.

Note to Yahoo columnist: it is not a surprise if you tell us what the surprise is.

Russell Crowe hates the Irish.

Republicans make off with a truckload of sex toys.

Where in the world is Matt Lauer?  Reportedly not at home.

Niecy Nash kicked off of DWTS, the world collectively gasps, "WHO?!".

Playboy to include 3-D glasses for next month's centerfold...never again will fake breasts look the same.  It is only a matter of time until Playboy attempts pop up centerfolds.

Jon and Kate reunite and the environment is near its 'tipping point'...coincidence?

Trump does what he does best with added publicity for the Miss USA competition.  I have seen more risque pics  in Cosmopolitan.  Calm down Fox News viewers.

Looks like whatever sleeping bug hit Ken Griffey Jr. has found its way to Keith Hernandez.   Of course, it could just be that baseball is the most boring sport to watch!

Add Will Smith to the list of actors who may be past their prime...Men In Black 3 has received the greenlight.

Favorite textfromlastnight: (501): This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.

Favorite textfromlastnight2: (269): Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.

More "The Wiz" than "Wizard of Oz"

With ratings at its worst in eight years, it seems that Idol may truly be on its last legs.  Yes, it still brings in boffo ratings for Fox, but the days when Idol ruled the airwaves seem to be gone forever.  Heck, even the producers are resorting to a public survey to gain feedback on how they can make the show better (points for actually caring what the general public likes).

USA Today speaks to how any of the contestants can still win the competition, but the real question is whether any of the four remaining contestants can actually sell an album (the answer is yes if you compare the sales to Kris Allen and not Carrie Underwood or Kelly Clarkson). 

And so Idol launched movie night with Jaime Foxx acting as mentor to the losers contestants.  Rumored to be taking Simon's spot when he leaves at the end of the season, it looks like we will have to wait until summer until Idol crowns a successor to Cowell's cranky chair.

Lee DeWyze kicked off the night with an extremely flat and unenthusiastic "Kiss From a Rose" bringing flop "Batman & Robin" more to mind than blockbuster "The Dark Knight". DeWyze simply doesn't have the bravado to win a competition like this (nor make it in the real world).

Michael Lynche followed when took on the mighty Michael Jackson's "Will You Be There" and unfortunately failed to channel the master.  Like Celene Dion, taking on an icon like MJ is always a risk as Lynche found out when the judges provided their feedback.

Following the first two performances, Idol threw a curveball when Lee DeWyze and Crystal Bowersox  performed together on a solid version of "Falling Slowly" from the fantastic movie "Once".   While they struggled a bit on the higher notes, it was great to see an outstanding song like this one recognized.

When we made it back to the solo performances, Casey James sang a subdued and acoustic take of "Mrs. Robinson" which was a fine performance, however I would have loved to see him open it up after the first verse and rock out to a more powerful version.

"I'm Alright', a great song from movie maven Kenny Loggins, was performed by Crystal Bowersox who was the only contestant of the evening to take a movie classic and make it her own.  Not sure that I loved the performance, but she certainly put on the coolest performance with the addition of some great bongos.

Idol finished off the night with a second duet when Michael Lynche and Casey James took on "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?".  Once again, the duet outshined the solo performances which begs the question whether Idol should do duets more often (or simply choose better singers!).

Unfortunately for these two, it looks like they will be back up on center stage tomorrow night when it comes down the two who are most at risk.  Oddly enough, I happen to like these two chaps more than Lee DeWyze, however at the end of the day, I will put my money on Casey James going home.  Lucky for James, he has a solid career ahead of him in country and should he choose, as a guitarist for a band.   Should Lynche head home, he could find success in R&B if he leverages a set of solid producers.

Thankfully there are only a few weeks left.  Never before have I looked forward to a season ending...

Monday's Rants and Raves

NFL Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor reportedly sacks a 17-year old.

Everyone's favorite Golden Girl posts huge ratings for her hosting of SNL. Way to rock out BDub!

Hooters = boobs.  Adolescent boys love boobs.  So Hooters sponsoring an adolescent boys team simply makes sense.

The Christian right already has no sense of humor so one can only imagine what Fox News will do with the news that Comedy Central is potentially adding a show about JC.

Justin Bieber's tweet results in death threats for Kim Kardashian (I know, I know...we could only hope).  Isn't Bieber a little young for no-reason-to-be-famous-except-for-her-homemade-porn-video Kardashian?  Heck, she can fit him in that behind of hers. 

Joaquin Phoenix officially pulls off one of the best publicity stunts ever.  Can't wait for the movie of the Phoenix rising.

So much for the TSA not using screening devices for ill-ridden purposes.  At least one of their own took control of the situation...though it might have been a mini baton from the looks of the story.

America's favorite Nazi (besides Jesse James) outed for his douchebag behavior.

Chaz Bono is officially a boy girl boy...something.

Kelly Clarkson attempts to torch a career that is already on the downward spiral.  BTW, if Kelly Clarkson and Kirstie Alley were left in a room with nothing to eat, who would eat the other first?

Lindsay Lohan leaks new song "Can't Stop. Won't Stop"...sounds like a threat to our ears.  And I don't think this is the only thing of Lohan that is leaking...

The Seattle Mariners decide to let "The Kid" sleep.

Favorite textfromlastnight:  (843): when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

Favorite textfromlastnight2: (931): My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.

Thursday's Rants and Raves

Elisabeth Hasselback wants Erin Andrews to be raped.

Talk about art imitating life...Lindsay Lohan to play a whore.

Only the Republican party would elect a plumber to office...then again, a plumber is smarter than their last President.

RIP Ernie Harwell, a true class act.

How long until Fox News claims that Democrats hate God?

Cameron Diaz caught doing the walk of shame.

Country music just got interesting.

Some people's idea of toys are electronic gadgets, others are cars, apparently for Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey it is jewelry modeled after a favorite children's candy.  This is one ring pop my wife would love a lick of.

Jessica Simpson hints that she has a new man - or men - in her life...there is more than enough to go around.

Some people get off to porn.  Lions head coach Jim Schwartz?  Apparently newly drafted RB Jahvid Best does it for Schwartz.  To each his own...

Apparently Dez Bryant's mother may not be a prostitute, but she is a crack dealer.  Close enough.

The Simpsons rock out Ke$ha style.  Check it out!

Favorite textfromlastnight: (317): The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic