Tuesday's Rants and Raves

Talk about "The Blind Side".  Jesse James surprises Oscar Winner Sandra Bullock.

The only way Palin is getting $10,000 from me for a photograph with her is if I can set up a faux background of Palin's doorstep with Alaska behind us set up.

Don't have a cow man...literally says Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm.  Not sure about you, but I might just have to have a burger for lunch and a steak for dinner out of spite.

The media is estimating that Tiger's return may be the highest ratings ever for golf...do people think that his 14 mistresses are going to show up, strip naked and then cheer Tiger on?!  People, it's golf...Tiger is going to hit a golf ball, the ball is going to go far, and eventually into the hole.  Plus, there is a good chance that Tiger will win. Look, I just saved you three hours.

Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?   RIP Peter Graves.

Kevin Arnold, you dog...I can't believe you got Winnie Cooper pregnant!

Is it wrong of me to take joy in the fact that Latrell Sprewell had his yacht seized and his house put into foreclosure?  I wonder how he is feeding his family now...

When people heard a Wolverine died, I am sure many were wondering (hoping?) it might be Rich Rod.

Did anyone really believe that Douchebag Pratt was really leaving "The Hills" to work in the cyber security division at American Defense Enterprise?  Like this guy has any real skills?!

So let me understand this...Rielle Hunter slept with a married politician, got knocked up by him, had his child, somewhere in the process made a sex video, and then made the decision to break her silence by wearing only a button down and no pants?  And now she's surprised that she is being painted as a whore?  Sweetheart, put the kid down and look in the mirror. 

Grey's Anatomy just got a million times better.

If losing all his money wasn't bad enough, now a deceased Ed McMahon is going to have to watch a talentless druggie (rumored) take over a show that is one of the last shows on earth that should be re-done. 

Wow, Michael Jackson looks awful.

Without an ability to hire real writers, NBC looks to take over a washed-up "24".

Did NBC learn nothing from Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant"?  Can NBC not find someone to write an original (and scripted) idea down on paper?

Anything that knocks the fat cow otherwise known as Mariah Carey out of the records book is good in my world.

Should this really be the name of a kid's movie?  I am sure I've seen a movie with a similar title in the XXX row before.

Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you...well in 30 months.

Favorite textfromlastnight: (602): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He c-ckblocked himself.

Favorite textfromlastnight 2: (310): based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment

Favorite textfromlastnight 3: (780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.