Tuesday, March 30, 2010

"Oh F-ck!" Say Idol Producers

As the Idol producers and judges look at the top 10, you can almost hear them say, "Oh f-ck! This is our top 10?!  How the f-ck are we going to sell a tour of these personality-lacking, poor singers to a public that doesn't seem to give a sh-t about any of them?!".   It will be interesting to see if Idol brings back former Idol winners (I am guessing that Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks have more than enough time on their hands) to tour with the top 10 this summer.

As for tonight, oddball Siobhan Magnus kicked it off with a very flat "Through the Fire" that had me fast forwarding through the majority of the song and wondering if Crystal Bowersox is the only performer who will be above average throughout the competition.

Casey James followed with "Hold On I'm Coming" that highlighted his blues roots.  A solid job, but I still want to see James move out from behind the microphone and interact a little more with the crowd as James gets swallowed up by that large stage quite often.

Idol's favorite teddy bear since Ruben Studdard, Michael Lynche, channeled India Arie's "Ready for Love" with a stripped down version that had Lynche seated with his guitar behind the Idol judges.  Lynche doesn't got after the exciting songs, but he is a solid performer almost every week.

The beautiful (and recently discovered Jewish) Didi Benami seems to shed more tears than a crowd at a Nicholas Sparks movie.  Taking on "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted", Benami was boring, flat, and simply forgettable.  With such a unique voice, I would have loved to see Benami take on a more recent song that was better suited for her voice.  I hope that she passes through to next week, however I am extremely afraid for her as she was definitely one of the poorer performers tonight.

One of the worst contestants in Idol history, Tim Urban, made an extremely odd pick with Anita Baker's "Sweet Love".  Amazingly, not the worst performance of the night, I felt that I was witnessing one of those awful performances that you're forced to watch when you're on a cruise ship.  And those looks into the camera?  It looked more like he was constipated than singing to someone he was in love with.

First to worst Andrew Garcia reminded the judges why they brought him this far when he finally found his mojo with a very interesting, acoustic take on Chris Brown's "Forever".   As I watched Andrew, I was curious if Siobhan has been stealing his glasses since they look a bit big on Andrew and simply gigantic on quirky Magnus.

Katie Stevens who 9 times out of 10 has missed the majority of her notes took on the very ballsy "Chain of Fools" and once again was very throaty but held her own against a very tough song.

Overrated Lee DeWyze performed the lesser known song "Treat Her Like a Lady" and finally had me seeing what the judges have been saying (wrongly) much of the season.  DeWyze chose an R&B song and made it contemporary and even though it was only him and his guitar behind a microphone he owned the stage with the night's best performance.

Crystal Bowersox left the guitar behind and sat behind the piano to sing one of my favorite songs, "Midnight Train to Georgia".  Forget Gladys Knight and Pips, Bowersox proved tonight just how talented she is...whether it be a guitar, a piano, she has a talent unlike many past Idol winners.  I still am unsure whether she can sell more than 100,000 or so records, however she is a true talent.  As for the background singers?!  Spectacular all night.

Finishing off the evening, dorky Aaron Kelly chose the very difficult "Ain't No Sunshine".  In addition to being a bit shaky in the beginning,  Kelly made it sound more like a version for a teen Disney album.  As for his stylist tonight, could they make him look any more like a country bumpkin who doesn't know how to dress or do his hair?!

The best part of the evening?  The hotties (the blonde specifically) sitting behind the very talented Usher and Kara Dioguardi who is looking finer every week...wa wa we wa!

The winner of the evening?  Apparently Usher who had his new album Raymond vs Raymond promoted numerous times throughout the evening.  Usher did provide the best mentoring in the last few years with honest and helpful feedback.

The losers?  While much better than past weeks (which is like saying that the least burnt cookie is the best of the bunch), the American public had to endure another long evening of singing by people we will most likely never hear from again after the season concludes.

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