Tuesday, March 30, 2010

"Oh F-ck!" Say Idol Producers

As the Idol producers and judges look at the top 10, you can almost hear them say, "Oh f-ck! This is our top 10?!  How the f-ck are we going to sell a tour of these personality-lacking, poor singers to a public that doesn't seem to give a sh-t about any of them?!".   It will be interesting to see if Idol brings back former Idol winners (I am guessing that Ruben Studdard and Taylor Hicks have more than enough time on their hands) to tour with the top 10 this summer.

As for tonight, oddball Siobhan Magnus kicked it off with a very flat "Through the Fire" that had me fast forwarding through the majority of the song and wondering if Crystal Bowersox is the only performer who will be above average throughout the competition.

Casey James followed with "Hold On I'm Coming" that highlighted his blues roots.  A solid job, but I still want to see James move out from behind the microphone and interact a little more with the crowd as James gets swallowed up by that large stage quite often.

Idol's favorite teddy bear since Ruben Studdard, Michael Lynche, channeled India Arie's "Ready for Love" with a stripped down version that had Lynche seated with his guitar behind the Idol judges.  Lynche doesn't got after the exciting songs, but he is a solid performer almost every week.

The beautiful (and recently discovered Jewish) Didi Benami seems to shed more tears than a crowd at a Nicholas Sparks movie.  Taking on "What Becomes of the Broken Hearted", Benami was boring, flat, and simply forgettable.  With such a unique voice, I would have loved to see Benami take on a more recent song that was better suited for her voice.  I hope that she passes through to next week, however I am extremely afraid for her as she was definitely one of the poorer performers tonight.

One of the worst contestants in Idol history, Tim Urban, made an extremely odd pick with Anita Baker's "Sweet Love".  Amazingly, not the worst performance of the night, I felt that I was witnessing one of those awful performances that you're forced to watch when you're on a cruise ship.  And those looks into the camera?  It looked more like he was constipated than singing to someone he was in love with.

First to worst Andrew Garcia reminded the judges why they brought him this far when he finally found his mojo with a very interesting, acoustic take on Chris Brown's "Forever".   As I watched Andrew, I was curious if Siobhan has been stealing his glasses since they look a bit big on Andrew and simply gigantic on quirky Magnus.

Katie Stevens who 9 times out of 10 has missed the majority of her notes took on the very ballsy "Chain of Fools" and once again was very throaty but held her own against a very tough song.

Overrated Lee DeWyze performed the lesser known song "Treat Her Like a Lady" and finally had me seeing what the judges have been saying (wrongly) much of the season.  DeWyze chose an R&B song and made it contemporary and even though it was only him and his guitar behind a microphone he owned the stage with the night's best performance.

Crystal Bowersox left the guitar behind and sat behind the piano to sing one of my favorite songs, "Midnight Train to Georgia".  Forget Gladys Knight and Pips, Bowersox proved tonight just how talented she is...whether it be a guitar, a piano, she has a talent unlike many past Idol winners.  I still am unsure whether she can sell more than 100,000 or so records, however she is a true talent.  As for the background singers?!  Spectacular all night.

Finishing off the evening, dorky Aaron Kelly chose the very difficult "Ain't No Sunshine".  In addition to being a bit shaky in the beginning,  Kelly made it sound more like a version for a teen Disney album.  As for his stylist tonight, could they make him look any more like a country bumpkin who doesn't know how to dress or do his hair?!

The best part of the evening?  The hotties (the blonde specifically) sitting behind the very talented Usher and Kara Dioguardi who is looking finer every week...wa wa we wa!

The winner of the evening?  Apparently Usher who had his new album Raymond vs Raymond promoted numerous times throughout the evening.  Usher did provide the best mentoring in the last few years with honest and helpful feedback.

The losers?  While much better than past weeks (which is like saying that the least burnt cookie is the best of the bunch), the American public had to endure another long evening of singing by people we will most likely never hear from again after the season concludes.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thursday's Rants and Raves


Was K.C. and the Sunshine Band singing about having sex with little boys when they sang, "do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight"?  Let's hope not...


When a drunk falls in Hollywood, does anyone care?


Kwame, if you pay the woman you are having sex with, that makes her a whore.  Oh wait, she is a whore even absent these potentially bogus payments...my bad.


The Hills cancelled?  There is a God!  Now if we could just rid the world of Heidi and Pratt for good.


This is like the bizarro world Prison Break.


Listen Yormack, NJ Nets CEO...if someone is actually willing to pay to watch your joke of a team play basketball, may I suggest not yelling at him for wearing a bag over his head?  I wouldn't want anyone to know I was at one of your games either...


Did John Locke make this island disappear? A real life "Lost".


Andray Blatche, I believe it is called insubordination.  Only in the NBA can you say that you don't "want to play".  Of course, this is the same league in which players threatened each other with guns in the locker room.




Adam Lambert looks a bit too comfortable in a kilt.


Seriously, what is wrong with those that believe so strongly in their religion?!  Muslims threaten to kill cartoonists and Buddhists throw rocks because of a music video.  Hey Buddhists, turn off the f'in TV!


Pick a winner Mischa...perhaps a role that will make people care about you.


Priests molesting little boys is bad enough, but in 3-D?!  That is just plain wrong.


America Ferrera, from Ugly...to well, still ugly.


Justin Beiber?  I just don't get it.


Perez Hilton challenges Ryan Seacrest with his new music countdown show...can you imagine this chick fight?!


Anoop Desai, former "American Idol" drops new single "My Name"...America responds, "Nope...still don't know."

Favorite textfromlastnight: (360: I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Miley? A Mentor? Really?!


So tonight we were treated to the mentoring of a girl who has had a long career in music...a whole three or so years!  Granted she is prime jail bait, but of all of the musicians available, is Miley Cyrus really the person who should be mentoring the Idol contestants?  Lets call this what it is...the movie company releasing Miley's newest movie, "Last Song" obviously paid off the Idol producers to get her on the show to promote the movie. With little quality advice, it looks like the movie company at least got their $$ worth.

Lee DeWyze, performing "The Letter" underwhelmed the crowd again with the band overshadowing a very karaoke-esque performance.  Having listened to this amateur sing for a number of weeks now, I have yet to find any talent outside of an annoying raspy voice that hits the right notes 50% (being generous) of the time.

Performing Phil Collins' "Against All Odds", Paige Miles did not beat the odds as she failed to hit one correct note during the entire performance.  Her surviving the week is definitely "Against the Odds".

Original Idol reject Tim Urban did nothing for Queen original, "Crazy Little Thing Called Love".  Outside of his appeal to 12-year old females, Urban offers nothing to the music world.  I liken tonight's performance to one of the Brady Bunch boys performing solo.  After this train wreck, Paige Miles might be safe after all.

Idol's biggest dork, Aaron Kelly took on an Aerosmith's lead song from "Armageddon", "Don't Want to Miss a Thing" and did a mediocre job as he put me to sleep.  Kelly is best suited for country and I would love to have heard more twang introduced in the song. 

Crystal Bowersox continued her knack for finding the right song by taking on a Janis Joplin classic, "Me and Bobby McGee" and once again, knocked it out of the park.  I still struggle with seeing Bowersox as a relevant artist in today's music scene; Bowersox, had she been born thirty years earlier, would have been a top performer along the likes of Joplin.

Michael Lynche went the safe route with "When a Man Loves a Woman" and failed to gain love from the judges.    For such a big guy, Lynche has such a gentle voice and soul and while he still doesn't possess what it takes to win the competition, Lynche is a joy to watch in a season of extremely poor talent.

With another odd song choice, Andrew Garcia performed a very strange "I Heard It Through the Grapevine".  With years upon years of Billboard #1 hits, I simply don't understand the song selection tonight...what happened to staying relevant and contemporary?  Sh-t, after this song, it looks like Paige Miles and Tim Urban might be safe after all.

Katie Stevens didn't totally destroy Fergie's "Big Girls Don't Cry", but she also didn't do it much justice.  After starting out well, Stevens became throaty and pitchy during the remaining 75% of the song.  Unfortunately, contestants are judged on the whole song and this just wasn't great.  Of course, compared to her competitors, she was friggin' Mariah Carey.

While not the most exciting of performances, Casey James' raspy and big band take on Huey Lewis and the News' "Power of Love" wasn't half bad.  James has definitely established himself as the guy to beat...unfortunately there are still a few women in his way.  If anything, James will find success as a guitarist after Idol concludes.

Didi Benami continued a trend for the night of taking on very old (and odd) songs with Linda Ronstadt's "You're No Good".  While I won't go as far as saying that wasn't "no good", I wouldn't classify her performance as "so good" either.  Benami did for the first time show a little personality and looked more comfortable than in weeks past.  As the weeks progress, I unfortunately am unsure as to the range that Benami possesses.

Oddball Siobhan Magnus took on the mighty Stevie Wonder and his classic, "Superstition" and while it was okay, it paled in comparison to past performances.  Magnus can sing, there is no doubt about that, I simply am tired of her screaming at this point.  Whereas Bowersox doesn't fit completely in today's music scene, I have an even harder time seeing Magnus fit.

Overall, the season gets more painful to watch and like most of America, I think we wish we could just fast forward to the end of the season.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Tuesday's Rants and Raves



Talk about "The Blind Side".  Jesse James surprises Oscar Winner Sandra Bullock.


The only way Palin is getting $10,000 from me for a photograph with her is if I can set up a faux background of Palin's doorstep with Alaska behind us set up.


Don't have a cow man...literally says Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm.  Not sure about you, but I might just have to have a burger for lunch and a steak for dinner out of spite.


The media is estimating that Tiger's return may be the highest ratings ever for golf...do people think that his 14 mistresses are going to show up, strip naked and then cheer Tiger on?!  People, it's golf...Tiger is going to hit a golf ball, the ball is going to go far, and eventually into the hole.  Plus, there is a good chance that Tiger will win. Look, I just saved you three hours.


Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison?   RIP Peter Graves.


Kevin Arnold, you dog...I can't believe you got Winnie Cooper pregnant!


Is it wrong of me to take joy in the fact that Latrell Sprewell had his yacht seized and his house put into foreclosure?  I wonder how he is feeding his family now...


When people heard a Wolverine died, I am sure many were wondering (hoping?) it might be Rich Rod.


Did anyone really believe that Douchebag Pratt was really leaving "The Hills" to work in the cyber security division at American Defense Enterprise?  Like this guy has any real skills?!


So let me understand this...Rielle Hunter slept with a married politician, got knocked up by him, had his child, somewhere in the process made a sex video, and then made the decision to break her silence by wearing only a button down and no pants?  And now she's surprised that she is being painted as a whore?  Sweetheart, put the kid down and look in the mirror. 


Grey's Anatomy just got a million times better.
If losing all his money wasn't bad enough, now a deceased Ed McMahon is going to have to watch a talentless druggie (rumored) take over a show that is one of the last shows on earth that should be re-done. 


Wow, Michael Jackson looks awful.


Without an ability to hire real writers, NBC looks to take over a washed-up "24".


Did NBC learn nothing from Rocco DiSpirito's "The Restaurant"?  Can NBC not find someone to write an original (and scripted) idea down on paper?


Anything that knocks the fat cow otherwise known as Mariah Carey out of the records book is good in my world.


Should this really be the name of a kid's movie?  I am sure I've seen a movie with a similar title in the XXX row before.


Every breath you take, every move you make, I'll be watching you...well in 30 months.

Favorite textfromlastnight: (602): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He c-ckblocked himself.

Favorite textfromlastnight 2: (310): based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment

Favorite textfromlastnight 3: (780): Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

"Gimme Shelter" From This Schlock

While never a fan of the Rolling Stones, I didn't realize how much I disliked them until I was forced to listen to the schlockiest sh-t this side of the Atlantic.

Tonight, we went back to the too-long, overly produced (translation: more back stories) two-hour round as the top 12 performed.  As I fast forwarded through 3/4 of the show, I realized that even though the DVR was invented prior to Idol, this hokey show was just the reason that they invented it in the first place.  I mean seriously, does anyone actually sit through this show live and enjoy it?!

The night began with Michael Lynche's mediocre performance of "Miss You".  The vocals were good, but it was Lynche's personality that keeps him as a contender for the top 5 (and maybe the top 3).

My personal favorite (more and more only for her looks as the weeks go on), Didi Benami, performed a lackluster "Play With Fire".  While the judges seemed to really like her performance, I am growing tired of her sub par song selection.  Of most interest was her offhanded comment about "Siobhan rubbing off on her" since Magnus was her roommate this week...that thought will keep my mind in the gutter for a bit.

Casey James followed with a very country/blues rendition of "It's All Over Now".  James is definitely most comfortable (and talented) singing this type of music, especially when jamming on his guitar.  Prior to Simon mentioning it, I too observed the fact that James has to start to own the stage and use it to his advantage.  James, like others tonight, simply stood behind the microphone and did his thing.

Lacey Brown, most likely the contestant to go this week, was pitchy and shaky once again while singing "Ruby Tuesday".  Brown got better as the song went on, but it was far from the original.

Andrew Garcia continued his downward spiral with a very boring and, at times, pitchy performance of "Gimme Shelter".  Garcia wins the award for "Peaked Too Early" when you look at him versus his fellow contenders and even against past contestants.  Unless Garcia steps it up quickly, we will be saying adios to this muchacho.

Idol's most insipid contestant, Katie Stevens, actually hit more correct notes tonight during "Wild Horses" than she did all season, but ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Bor-ing.

Tim Urban was verbally raped by the judges when he performed a surprisingly fresh feeling and reggae-esque version of "Under my Thumb".  As someone who likes very few Stones songs, Urban's rendition didn't bother me nearly as much as it did the judges.  Granted, it didn't wow me and once again, Urban followed the new trend of being boring while standing behind a microphone stand, but this performance didn't seem that much different than some of Kris Allen's performances last year.  Sadly, it looks like Urban will find himself singing on cruise ships and in college bars soon enough.

With Lilly Scott gone, Siobhan Magnus took on the roll of biggest contender with favorite Crystal Bowersox.  Performing "Paint it Black", I actually disagreed with the judges tonight as I didn't get the song choice and I thought the outfit and hair style were bloody awful.  In fact, I thought the stagehands were the best feature of this performance for the lighting work during the song.  With all of that said, Magnus sure has pipes!

Lee DeWyze continued his trend of underwhelming the crowd yet still receiving positive praise from the judges.  Okay, we get it, you need at least one male to really champion...but is this the horse you really want to latch yourself to?  Like his competitors before, DeWyze stood behind a microphone and sang his song ("Beast of Burden"), however with little to no personality or confidence, DeWyze simply bores the audience to sleep.  Unless DeWyze can find it within himself to believe in his talent (which I am still not sure really exists), he will be heading home much sooner rather than later.

Paige Miles finally brought some type of life to the show with "Honky Tonk Woman"...definitely not the best performance of the night, but she did a solid job amongst a bunch of amateur singers.

Showing the biggest change since the contestants could use stylists, Aaron Kelly took a step away from complete dweeb with his new look.  The judges really enjoyed his "Angie" performance and while it was a fine job, I kept waiting for Kelly to open the song up.  I am not sure if it is Kelly's youth or not, but he really needs to find a stage presence if he wants a shot at winning the season.

Closing the night was Simon's front runner, Crystal Bowersox, strumming out an excellent version of "You Can't Always Get What You Want".  For the first time, the judges looked her less as a deity and more as a contestant with flaws.  Me?  I looked at her for the first time as someone whose album I would highly consider purchasing.

If I had to make a guess, we'll be saying goodbye to Lacey Brown in less than 24 hours. 

One interesting observation tonight: did anyone else notice that Kara mentioned on numerous occasions that she had to "agree with the guys" when only Randy and Ellen had provided feedback?  While I can understand saying that one agrees with these guys, using the word 'the' infers that Ellen is a dude.  Granted Ellen doesn't like dudes and seems to be the man in her marriage, I found this to be an odd and almost insulting phrase to use.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Thursday's Rants and Raves

 Just like a baby being born when a person dies in this world, is it the same in the world of rap? When one rapper gets out of prison, does another rapper go into prison?


Douche bags of the week? The Itawamba County school board for canceling prom instead of letting an 18-year old senior attend the prom with her girlfriend?  Apparently you can marry your brother or sister, but dating someone of the opposite sex is outlawed.


Lindsay Lohan is suing E-Trade for what she considers to be an attack on her...is that attack based on the fact that a character in the commercial is named Lindsay or that the babies are simply better actors than her?


What will Corey Feldman do now?!


Lock up your daughters...Tiger is making a comeback.


Speaking of Tiger, at least one thing good has come out of the Tiger debacle for other douches as result of his infidelity.  Man, I bet Kwame is wishing he had loaded this onto his phone!


Best headline of the day: Gerard Butler Trims Jennifer Aniston's Bush...for a second I thought John Mayer was making waves yet again.


So now I have to rely on the douche bag with the most money to save my life?!



Are we supposed to be shocked?

People actually pay for porn?!   Do these folks not own computers?!


You would think Big Ben was a receiver with hands like this...


Is that a banana in your pants?


With one foot already in the grave, Blockbuster opens it up for a quicker death.

Favorite textfromlastnight (tie): (404):  It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.

Favorite textfromlastnight (tie): (401): What the f-ck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky f-cking guy.

An Idol Shocker


Okay enough already with the hokey and poorly lip-synched performances.  Granted that tonight was one of the best lip-synched performances in years, this is a singing competition...either let them show how good they really are or simply drop the Brady Bunch medleys.  Do you think America will really care?  Of course, Idol would then struggle with how to fill the five minutes of an already overproduced and too-long results show.

Tonight's former Idol(s) returning to the stage included a "dueling" piano version of "Tell Her About It" by an awful mohawk'd Matt Giraud and Scott MacIntyre.  For someone who used to work in a dueling piano bar, I am now unsure if I would even pay to see Giraud perform in that environment.  As for MacIntyre, I can only say that he is quite talented on the piano for someone legally blind.  Perhaps the dueling piano concept could have worked with a more exciting song, but for me, I simply felt like I was watching a performance from Vegas's New York New York casino.

Tonight Idol tried to make it dramatic by going through the contestants one by one (simply another ploy to make the show run long).  We said goodbye to Brooke White Katelyn Epperly (a girl who didn't have the spark to make it any further than she already did), Todrick Hall (someone who simply wasn't consistent enough week over week), Alex Lambert (sorry, you're name is not Adam), and in the most shocking exit of Idol and perhaps the worst decision by the Idol voters since knocking out Jennifer Hudson, Lilly Scott.  Mark my words that Scott will be the first singer from Idol who didn't make the top 12 but who will still find a record deal...very possibly with the Idol producers.

The crown is Bowersox's to lose with the loss of Scott.  And tonight, Idol officially jumped the shark.  Simon, I can't wait for your show.

It Really Is a Girl's Year

Lee Dewyze got it started by taking on Owl City's "Fireflies".  Another pitchy performance leads me to think that we might as well just save some time and eliminate him now as it doesn't seem that he is going to mature much during the season. 

Alex Lambert followed with "Trouble", a song that was recently covered by Ray LaMontagne.  Lambert performed the song well, but yet again, this kid doesn't seem to possess "it". 

Tim Urban, this year's major reject destroyed positive memories of Jason Castro singing "Hallelujah" in the past as well as Justin Timberlake and Matt Morris's haunting version during the Haiti telethon.  With no connection to the song, I truly hope that Tim will soon be out the door.

Andrew Garcia slightly redeemed himself after weeks of subpar performances by covering Christina Aguilera's "Genie in a Bottle".  Making a bubblegum pop song palatable, however Garcia continues to hit a number of flat notes during his performances which shows that he has more flaws than other top contestants like Crystal Bowersox and Lilly Scott.

Casey James finally found his way to country with Keith Urban's "You'll Think of Me".  James didn't blow me away for a genre in which I thought he'd kill, but his acoustic performance should be enough to get him into the top 12.

Dork Aaron Kelly, another contestant built for country, took on Lonestar's "I'm Already There" and like James did a mediocre job and probably one that will allow him to find his way into the top 12.  Like many of this year's contestants, this little dweeb simply doesn't have the stage presence or the voice for that matter to win.

Todrick Hall performed one of my favorite songs in Queen's "Somebody to Love" and unfortunately it had no where near the fire of Freddie Mercury and the original.  Hall tried to provide an R&B/gospel flavor to it, but opposite from the judges thought, it came across boring.

The show finished with Michael Lynche mastering Maxwell's "This Woman's Work" in a performance reminiscent of when Ruben Studdard came into his own.  I can actually say that he gave me the chills. Job. Well. Done.

Kara once again looked outstanding.  If Kara is a cougar, I want to go to the zoo to eat!

Is it DST? I Saved an Hour!

Finally, after having to endure two long weeks of two hour episodes twice  a week, we finally were treated to a shorter, more palatable hour for the boys and girls.  Gone were the lengthy back stories and other waste replaced by simply the mediocre singers performing their mediocre songs. 

For the girls, Katie Stevens, performing Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway", started the night out like most other nights this year...with a terrible performance.  Actually, Stevens' performance could be one of the worst performances in Idol history.  Stevens wasn't only flat but I think she left half of the notes back at rehearsal.  I hope that Stevens has been studying because it looks like she will be returning to high school very soon.  As for Kara's comment that she has a great radio voice, I hope she was talking about terrestrial radio as my satellite radio would be turned off faster than Abdul could make a white line disappear.

Siobhan Magnus belted out a Broadway-like "House of the Rising Sun" by The Animals.  While not the most exciting performance, Magnus has quite the pipes...now if she can just bring out her personality and start to look more contemporary and more like an Idol.

Lacey Brown performing Brandi Carlisle's "The Story" was boring and subpar for yet another week and it is only a matter of time until the door kicks her in the a--. This chick reminds me of Nikki McKibbin...when Nikki was still skinny (prior to her Celebrity Fit Club participation).  In regards to the judges calling it her best performance yet, simply state what you really mean: your past performances suck and this one finally did not.

Katelyn Epperly's rendition of Carole King's "I Feel the Earth Move" felt very karaoke and reminiscent of Brooke White from last season.  There is something about her and her playing a keyboard that keeps taking me back to the 80's...and not the good part of the 80's.

Happy to see Didi Benami's unique voice took on Fleetwood Mac successfully.  Benami's beauty will never be questioned, however I still have to wonder if she has a chance to win with less-than-exciting song choices each week.

Paige Miles followed with an irritating performances of Charlie Chaplin's "Smile"; for a song that was just recently song with such immense compassion by Jermaine Jackson in honor of MJ, Miles did it no justice.

Crystal Bowersox was outstanding doing a bluesy version of Tracy Chapman's "Give Me One Reason".  As someone who truly knows her strengths and weaknesses, Bowersox has set herself up officially to be the one to beat.

The evening ended with Lilly Scott singing Patsy Cline's "I Fall to Pieces".  Scott, once again, sang the song incredibly well, however I personally hated the actual song.

Looking back at the night, Bowersox and Scott are still the best two in the competition but repeating myself from an earlier blog post, neither seem to have what it takes to make it bigger than a club artist.  I love Scott's unique voice and she reminds me of Regina Spektor; however, like Spektor, Scott doesn't have that mainstream potential.  Bowersox suffers from a similar problem...I see Bowersox performing strongly in a duet with John Mayer as both have good guitar skills and a love of blues, but again, I don't think Bowersox will ever play anything larger than The Fillmore with success.

Off topic, Kara Dioguardi looked HOT on Tuesday night...wa wa we wa!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Friday's Rants and Raves


Danny Gokey sings "My Best Days are Ahead of Me" on AI's elimination episode.  Keep singing crappy songs like this and you'll be regretting those words for the rest of your days...


In other Idol news, how long until conspirators try to claim that voters are racists?  Three African Americans, two Hispanics, and an Asian-American booted thus far...it is only a matter of time until someone jumps on this bandwagon.  Of course it couldn't be because they all simply sucked!


Anyone else wonder if Kevorkian is available?



Who wants to be the person to tell a postal person that they are going to work less and possibly lose their job?!


Just what I want in my President...a woman who does stand up, who whines if you say one thing politically incorrect, who can see Russia from her doorstep, and who takes free swag from celebrity gift suites.  How long until she signs up for "Celebrity Apprentice" or "Dancing with the Stars"?! And this is the best candidate for President from the Republican party?!  As poor a job as Obama is said to be doing, a second term seems like a slam dunk if this is the Republican savior. 



Miley Cyrus officially has an STD.


Speaking of STDs, look who is joining "Dancing with the Stars".


In other DWTS news: talk about extending one's 15 minutes of fame.  As for the unlucky whore who "won", how long until we see these two on "The Marriage Ref"?  Oh wait, they won't even get to the marriage part...I forgot that "The Bachelor" has a worse track record than Toyota.


And another one hoping for a just a few more minutes of fame.  Apparently NBC couldn't find a role for him on "Law & Order" or a guest spot on Leno.


In one last DWTS news: Peek-a-boo, I see you. :)



Thanks a lot Mother Nature, now where am I supposed to find time to write my blog?!


Glad I turned down this event on FB.


Don't blame Tony Soprano for it this time...


Glee + NPH?  It is going to be legen...wait for it...dary!


Piss off!



I've never wanted to have a camera installed more for this mile high club!


I didn't realize that Cheney was an NRA gun instructor.  Sh-t, I didn't even realize he had a heart.

B-tch, I said I wanted pancakes!

Favorite textfromlastnight: (650): I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?